Iman is a Royal Manchester College student

Iman's Story, as told to us by her mum Nighat

I’d had a normal pregnancy and mostly everything was fine. But I’d been feeling unwell and sick and then I started feeling really poorly. I was working hard at the time and rushing about everywhere, so my sister encouraged me to go to the hospital to get checked out.

I was 25 weeks at the time and when I got there I was 6cm dilated. They said the baby wouldn’t survive if I remained at my local hospital, as they didn’t have the specialist facilities a premature baby would need, so I was transferred to Salford Hospital.

We were told she was very unlikely to make it as she had a chronic lung disease, she only had one kidney, she had very poor muscle tone and her skin was like tissue paper, and she couldn’t breathe on her own. She was born 1lb 5oz and she was so tiny.

Her breathing difficulties meant she had to be put on a C-PAP and an oscillator. But these machines work on pressure, so that also ended up affecting her eyesight and that made her blind in one eye.

Looking back now it was really sad. The doctors were realistic with us and just told us to prepare for the worst. And because I had been so busy in the run up to the birth I blamed myself. It took me a long time to get over that and realise that I’d actually been busy in my first pregnancy and it wasn’t anything I did, it was just one of those things that had happened.

None of Iman’s milestones have come naturally to her and she didn’t develop in the way other babies would. She had to learn everything at her own pace.

I think it was sad hearing the list of things she was diagnosed with when she was little. But we coped and we carried on. It was only when she had her hearing test and was diagnosed deaf that I really broke down. That was the moment when I thought “why her?”. I really bottled that up inside and for a long time I wouldn’t accept it. I was really quiet and I wouldn’t really speak to anyone. Trying to come to terms with it was hard and I kept thinking “What am I going to do? How many more things are going to happen that I can’t cope with?”

Going out with Iman felt quite challenging. Sometimes her siblings didn’t want to come with her because they knew people would be staring and asking questions. They’d be embarrassed that their friends might see her and wonder what was wrong. But that was them just growing up and getting used to things and I’d say to them, “Well, Iman is coming so it’s up to you if you come too or not”. I was determined she wouldn’t have to do a separate thing to her siblings.

When we go out you always have to explain why Iman isn’t talking or why she is wearing a hearing aid. You notice people looking and staring. People would ask “What’s wrong with your child?” and I’d just explain that there was nothing wrong with her, she was just born prematurely, she is deaf and she’s got additional needs.

When it came to Iman’s education she started in a nursery and she was really happy there. They really looked after her and we felt we’d found a good place. But when she moved into the primary school there it was very different. She wasn’t settling in and it was really difficult. Every time I’d pick her up they’d tell me she’d scratched the teacher and they’d show me photos of her injuries and what she’d done. I felt I had a right to ask questions about that. I couldn’t understand why she’d be doing that. And then I found out it was because they were keeping her in a box room away from the other children. She was cooped up in a room small and didn’t have the chance to interact with the other children. It was awful. The room was so small and she’d only have a couple of toys. That’s why she was acting out. There would be comments about “Iman…oh, she’s naughty” and I wouldn’t accept that. She wasn’t naughty, it was a cry for help. That place wasn’t right for her because they didn’t understand her needs.

We eventually found another primary school and she was so much happier there. It was a relief when we were able to do that. She really thrived at the other primary school and to be honest I would have loved it if she could have stayed. But they didn’t have a college and we knew we wanted Iman to continue her education.

When we first heard about Seashell I was worried about the fact it was quite far from home (we live in West Yorkshire). But then I had to remind myself that our other daughter had gone off to college and moved away and it would be the same for Iman. This was part of her growing up.

When we first looked round Seashell’s facilities we just thought “wow”. It was so different and I’d never seen anything like it before. There was everything that I knew Iman would love. The climbing wall, the swimming, the gym…everything was amazing. What really felt special to me was seeing the children and young adults walking around the grounds like it was their own home. It didn’t feel like a school or college, it felt like a second home for everyone. I remember seeing a young man sitting down in the pathway and the staff were just stood around him making sure he was safe, but they weren’t trying to move him. They were just letting him do his own thing and then he got up when he was ready. Seeing that really emphasised to me how much they put the young person first.

Iman is on the employability pathway at Seashell which means she is able to go off site and take part in work experience. She is also in residential care so she’ll come home to us at weekends or for holidays and then the rest of the time she lives at Seashell. She loves her residential home and all the Care staff are so nice and supportive. So are Family Services and College staff. Everyone knows Iman so well and they are so supportive, not just of Iman herself, but to our whole family.

The thing that really gets me is there are so many staff and students at Seashell, but they all know Iman and they know each other. They’ll all stop and ask her how she is. It feels like a family.

It’s also great she is able to access the health services too. So she will have her hearing checks at Seashell and it’s now not just an appointment – she actually enjoys the experience.

Iman also does the College Cafe. So she will cook things that are sold for staff lunches. We always encourage her to cook at home and we love doing family recipes together. So I love that she is also able to do that when she is at Seashell too.

Since she has come to Seashell Iman is absolutely thriving. She’s become more independent and we’re just so proud of her.

Seashell feels very welcoming. Seashell is a family and I just wish she could stay forever.